Laugh when you can,
Apologize when you should,
And let go of what you can't change.

April 10, 2007

Anxiety?

I'm a little embarrassed to share this but what the heck. I was supposed to start allergy shots today. I'm really nervous because of the needle factor. I was a little anxious throughout the day and came up with about 20 excuses for why I shouldn't go today:

1. I didn't take my allergy medicine this morning and maybe I shouldn't go without taking it first.
2. I should go to the gym instead.
3. I should get home to help Michael with the puppies since he took them for walks this morning.
4. I'm tired.
5. I should work more.
And the list goes on....... (hey, I didn't say they were good excuses)

It was like an ongoing conversation in my head. My brain was coming up with these reasons why I shouldn't go even though I know I need to go. So I finally left work around 4:45 to get to the allergy center and have my shot. On my way home, my stomach started hurting- BAD. I kept thinking I was going to have to pull over to throw up on the side of the road. I had cold air blasting at me in the car even though it's about 50 degrees outside and I was still roasting. It was bizarre. I'm not sure I've ever had a stomach-ache that bad, other than maybe with food poisoning. I did manage to make it home, where I promptly got sick. Now my stomach is still feeling kinda bad but mostly I feel ok. I didn't eat anything weird today so I'm thinking it's possible this is anxiety. That's really embarrassing because I know if it is, it's all in my head. I've got to get these shots though so I'm gonna have to figure out how to get over it. I'm still hoping this is just a crazy coincidence though.

I wasn't kidding about that needle phobia though. To give some background, I had a bad experience with needles when I was 12 and got my tonsils out. I had to go back several times to the hospital because the stitches opened up and I was bleeding. I had some fabulous nurses (note the sarcasm here please) that stuck me about 100 times trying to find a vein for the IV. It was terrible. One time they even thought it was in and it wasn't and my entire hand swelled up with the IV fluid. That started the phobia. Since then, each time I've had to get a shot or IV it's been a little worse than the time before, in terms of anxiety. I pretty much avoid them at all costs.

2 comments:

Amy said...

Im there with you! I have to psych myself up jus to get a cholesterol test. Im actually looking into a birth center when the time comes b/c the thought of an epidural or even an IV make me cringe more than a nonmedicated birth!
Maybe your doc can give you an anxiety med to take before you have the shots. Im not big on them but it may help in the short term.

Unknown said...

The story about the Iv fluids and the tonsil experience is all true....no exageration.....we almost lost her.....zanax is a good antianxiety med...but, it will make you sleepy.